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Lmao the world, God decreed.
N den there was lol.

Man check this garden of Edam shit.
Naked dude n girl.  
And a snake (no planes).

“LOL Boobies” sed Adam to Eve.
“Take the apple faG,” Snake hissed like
some camper.
“Yum” Sed Eve.
“OH NOES!” Adam
“Pwned,” rofled snake.

Then some people made sum drama:
'wah wah, wahburger and cries!” shouted some
lollers from the sex pits
boning some big titted girls.
Sodom and Gamorah wuz where
that shit wuz at!

God smoted right den.
OH shit!  FLOOD!  Man, that God
just upped and drowned all the bitches!
Cept Noah, the pimp mack daddy of cool n his animal
house party in a boat.  (Snakes on a boat! LMAO!)

Ok so den sum dude ran between the
sea with a bush on
fire (STDS!!!!) Man that moses, some kind of
superhero.  Smashed a load of rocks and
killed egyptians.  Cheeky jews.

Man, some plagues were going down,
and God was chillaxing in heven.  Then he saw
that moses guy who sat on a mountain n died.
'Gg dawg, nextmap' sed God givin propz.
'Werd': moses.

Man then this little kid called david
picked up a stone n chucked it.
'Shit' sed this Goliath dude n
got killed cos of a stone.  Man
david must have been on steroids or sum shit.
Goliath wuz fucking massive, na'mean.

Ok then some stuff happened with religion
n people.  Blood n fighting n shit.
Lols.  It wuz violent then.

This King Herod fogel wuz all
'fuck this diet – tyme to kill kids!' Cos
a witch told him he wuz goin to die
becoz of a kid or sumthing.

Mary lolled at some joseph guy n Jesus
da kid wuz born in a bunch of hay, Shit what wuz that
all about? The horses n animals all braying, and a star on
the night.

Three dudes with a few presents did some stuff.
Then a bunch of stuff with some kings and a few hebrews.
Sea all up in this ocizzle and kings getting killed.
Bloody old times, na'mean?

Den Jesus, mah homedawg entered da scene.
'Sup'” sed god's son.
“nm, u?” sed da world.
“nm” sed Jesus.

Jesus talkeda buncha, hebrews and aborigines listened
and this led to some kind of rebellion with a load
of rocks.
All the olden peoples used rocks n shit
when they wuz having fights.

Sum john guy sat in rivers
and tried to put peeps heds in the lake.
Man, he weren't drowning no one.
Just baptiding them with water on the
fayse.

Sum bread n fish made a dinner for a crowd.
Water got some dudes drunk, cos of Jesus.  He
wuz all like 'Dudes, check out my powaz!'
N the water was wine.
(wine lollin!)

Lazarus!  This dude got all deaded
n Jesus sed 'No way dude, u r 2 kewl'
Felt him up and the guy
wuz all walking around with robes on.

Sum dudes started fishing with Jesus.
“Sup,” sed Peter.
“Lets go teach,” sed Jesus.
“kk boss,” sed the gyse.  They all named
disiples n followed Jesus around.

People watched Jesus chattin about
things.  Jesus wuz like
'Meek gyse are taken the
earth, ok?”
N everyone sed “Fo sho jizzle.”

“Dudes!” sed Jesus. “Lets build a church, k?”
“lolwhat?” sed The disiple.
Jesus rofled.  “U gyse listen.  A place where
all these dudes listen about shiznit.”
“Man, that is gewd.” said Peter.
Jesus Church Pimp pad wus built n
people all visited that heezy

Man, them romans started getting pissed.  
“Leethax” sed Jesus in some temple.  
Coins all over the flizzle!
I'd have picked that shit up.  
Dollaz for ho's, namean.

'O shit!' sed Jesus, n dis Judas guy kissed his face.
'Lolfag' sed Petre.
N den jesus wus tekn n stripped.
Man, lotsa crying from the gyse in gefsamany
(another garden LOL)

Man, den Jesus died on some wood in the air.
Judas fell off a chair
and Peter sed sumthing about a pot.

It was the end, till Marian Magdalana spoke
sum words the bible
was free.

N den Jesus floated on water n went
to hevan.
Moses n God greeted him.
"Rofl" sed jesus.
"U done well dude" God sed.

“KK tyme to kill the world,” sed God.
“man what?” sed Jesus
'Hell is goin to be hitting up
that world, dude! Revelations.”
“awwwww hell naw,” Moses seded.


Da end
The Stori of the Bibles (poems of internet version)

Ok check dis out.
Dis is the bible condensed for those peeps who cnt read the whole thing and use internet.
In poem form!!

Lets go:
Add a Comment:
 

Daily Deviation

Given 2007-02-12
The Bibles -internets edishun by `fleet21. And God said, Let there be lol. ( Suggested by caveatLECTOR and Featured by PoeticWar )
:iconxsjb:
xsjb Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I lol'd.
Reply
:icondynamoe:
Dynamoe Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2013
:iconhomerplz: Internet Jebbus! 
Reply
:iconfraterm:
fraterm Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I still m touced sumwher, like im felt up namean~
Reply
:iconjon-law:
Jon-Law Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2011
Every time, dude. Every damned time.
Reply
:iconfleeet:
fleeet Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I never ever reply to comments on this deviation but I just wanted to say thank you.
Reply
:iconjon-law:
Jon-Law Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012
Bro grabs.
Reply
:icontsb-ultimate:
TSB-Ultimate Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Holy crap, I usually keep away from things like this but seriously, this was just hilarious XD
Reply
:iconburningspoke:
BURNINGspoke Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2011
HAHAHA GENIUS! This made me have a different views picture on the bible stories, in a roflmaocopter way
Reply
:iconladyrandomm13:
ladyrandomm13 Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2011  Student
oh my...funnnny
Reply
:iconnathanblackwolf:
NathanBlackwolf Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011  Student General Artist
This made my day! Nice one!
Reply
:iconkoji-zaka:
Koji-Zaka Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
That was like spark notes, only better. I'd attend an internet church
Reply
:iconisiri-blackthorn:
Isiri-Blackthorn Featured By Owner Nov 23, 2010  Hobbyist Photographer
O.O I think a few of my brain cells just died...
Reply
:iconragnaice:
ragnaice Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Ouch! John Milton and every other religious poet is rolling in his grave now... :lol:

This is near incomprehensible, but the little bits I did get were pretty funny...
Reply
:iconispyskye:
iSpySkye Featured By Owner Oct 17, 2010  Student Photographer
LMFAO THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH xD idk i was reading it quickly so it was like every1 said everything fast :P
Reply
:iconroxannevl:
RoxanneVL Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I like it but with all the "gangsta" talk it's impossible to understand. I couldn't get past the third verse.
Reply
:iconroi13:
roi13 Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:DDDDD:;DD:;D

That is just freakin' hilarious. Made my day Ecks Dee
Reply
:iconrinnytinted:
rinnytinted Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2010
Please let me have your children.
Reply
:iconxillin:
xillin Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010
Funny poem!
Reply
:iconvasooki:
vasooki Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This was EPIC! Makes me wanna hang with JC and his 12 main men, ya hear?
Reply
:iconcocacoladdict:
Cocacoladdict Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010
LOL you gais.

:iconimhappyplz:
Reply
:iconmyownweaknesses:
myownweaknesses Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2010  Hobbyist
ROFL...awesome.
Reply
:iconless2thetruth:
Less2TheTruth Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2010  Student Artist
Zomg Jebus wit his 1337hax!
Reply
:iconherrkommandant:
HerrKommandant Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2010
LMAO XDDD
I'm a Christian and I find this to be hilarious
lol, especially;

Den Jesus, mah homedawg entered da scene.
'Sup'” sed god's son.
“nm, u?” sed da world.
“nm” sed Jesus.
Reply
:iconkittyvollmaa:
kittyvollmaa Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2010
"Den Jesus, mah homedawg entered da scene.
'Sup'” sed god's son.
“nm, u?” sed da world.
“nm” sed Jesus."
ahahahaha
Reply
:iconperidot-magelette:
peridot-magelette Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2010
THIS ROCKS.
Reply
:iconsirbastian96:
SirBastian96 Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2010
that is da shit na'mean
Reply
:iconthe-fab-collab-of-se:
WAOZ HAO DISREPECKTFUL.

lul jk, I'm a total atheist and learned everything I needed to know from this enough to know I don't believe the bible at ALL. no srsly, guise. Don't try to force that shit on me.

funny stuff, man.
Reply
:iconkingdm-hrts-addict:
Kingdm-Hrts-Addict Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hahaha... I hope you realize that this is like someone was high on God-knows-what and wrote a spoof of the Bible? You don't hear Christians bashing atheists, so don't be a hater... Respect!

...but this was pretty funny. I have to admit :)
Reply
:iconjon-law:
Jon-Law Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2011
He was perfectly sober at the time.
Reply
:iconkingdm-hrts-addict:
Kingdm-Hrts-Addict Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes... I was aware of that. I was making a joke, sorry if I offended anyone (sweatdrop)
Reply
:iconthe-fab-collab-of-se:
Lolyestheydo.

Just not publicly. My atheism gets ridiculed all the time.

Yes, it was funny. xD
Reply
:iconkingdm-hrts-addict:
Kingdm-Hrts-Addict Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Whatever. No big; it's just for the lulz :D
Reply
:iconfriend-of-the-turtle:
Friend-of-the-turtle Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2010
My lolcano is spewing (LOL spew)
Reply
:iconpollardy:
pollardy Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2010
teh lulz shall be had~
Reply
:iconakoyamizuno:
AkoyaMizuno Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2010
That was.. shockingly accurate. XD
I loved it.
Reply
:icontt-junior:
TT-Junior Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2010
Teehehehahaha
You dude need to make this rofl bible book
Reply
:iconninokhan:
ninokhan Featured By Owner May 28, 2010   Traditional Artist
lmao
Reply
:iconbamsquaredd:
bamsquaredd Featured By Owner May 23, 2010
This could pass for laughing gas. :lmao: :rofl:
Reply
:iconah-hin:
ah-hin Featured By Owner May 18, 2010  Professional General Artist
oh my God XD
Reply
:iconblackraven721:
Blackraven721 Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2010
Win!
Reply
:iconjesterofthesky:
JesterofTheSky Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2010
oh my...
Reply
:icondeadeye707:
deadeye707 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2010  Student General Artist
this was pretty funny!
but there's too much fighting on the comments...
Reply
:iconclloud13:
clloud13 Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2010  Student Writer
lol this was epic!

Den Jesus, mah homedawg entered da scene.
'Sup'” sed god's son.
“nm, u?” sed da world.
“nm” sed Jesus.

Excellent :D
Reply
:iconpooxyz:
pooxyz Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2010
best. ever.
Reply
:iconinflatornickelbread:
inflatorNickelbread Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
this was..very creative..and im not going to get all mad at you saying/disrepecting my religion, but i suggest you tone it down..i didnt really find it very nice (or respectful) to say the least (the very least) and i was wondering why it was only Christianity that you mocked (as far as i can tell..i tried to make sure i didnt miss anything but nothing was there)..and that doesnt mean im asking or requestig you to make fun of other religions..

but at least you know the Bible stories...
Reply
:iconcloudhorn:
Cloudhorn Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2010
the new era of grammar will come, long live the internet
Reply
:iconerua:
Erua Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2010
I WOULD have read this. I would. But the first thing I read is the title, and I get skeptic. I then go to what you say on the piece. "Stori." "den" "N" Honeslty, I'm sure this is as funny as hell, but I won't read it. Your grammar is wanting more than fan-girls are wanting brains.
Reply
:iconemo-kid-crys:
emo-kid-crys Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
lol its a joke pepl on teh intawebs speak like dis!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D LOL
Reply
:iconerua:
Erua Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2010
calm down, that was months ago. You don't have to bother me about it anymore.
Reply
:iconemo-kid-crys:
emo-kid-crys Featured By Owner Apr 21, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
ok :D
Reply
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Submitted on
February 17, 2006
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